I have to say that Vive put quiet a bit of thought Into who Vive received the most words of wisdom from and I have chosen my adopted mother. Over the past thirty six years that I have been a part of my adopted family I have truly had some difficulties coping and dealing with the fact my biological mother abandoned myself and my four brothers when I was a baby. For many years I have questioned so many things, the reasons, the whys, the what ifs, and how can a mother possibly do meeting so traumatic to such small, innocent children.
I’ve had many a disagreement with my adopted mother over my continued search for answers, yet through all my struggles I have learned a few things that will always remain close to my heart and forever be embedded within my thoughts. Mom always told me you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I decided that I could never make my biological mother love me, but in turn I could love my children, family and friends without all my heart and open y heart to them In return.
Vive learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. She taught me that It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy It. She told me that It’s not what you have In your life, but who you have In your life that counts so don’t dwell on those that have chosen not to be apart of your life. She taught me that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I quickly learned that I wanted to be the best for myself and no one else.
She truly tried to instill in my head that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it. So, with that in my head I have chosen to take what my biological mother put me through and teach my children what it truly means to love and be a parent in hopes that they will one day be able to instill their love in their children, family and friends as well. Vive learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be but without Mom’s guidance and encouragement I would have never over come my frustrations, worries ND concerns.
One of the most important things she taught me was that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. She taught me that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. So many times I’ve wondered why I was even brought into the world and why I continue to move forward everyday when I have felt I shouldn’t. She taught me to always remember what my biological mother did and always remember that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I honestly do not feel my biological mother ever felt responsible for the pain she put us through. She taught me that learning to forgive takes practice. Forgiving my biological mother has taken me years to do, but I have been able to accomplish forgiveness. Vive learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. Mom always said that I can be angry at my mother the rest of my life but never be cruel to anyone because of my feelings, people don’t deserve to be treated In the manner I have en.
I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many adopted mother has tried to instill in my head and my heart, but I have always kept her wisdom close to my heart and knew that in time I would head her lessons and one day be the sort of person I have always wanted to be. We don’t always believe older people have wisdom but my adopted mother has more wisdom than I will ever have in a life time and I thank her each and everyday for it.