Your Self’s Your Real Best Friend
In fact, a best friend is a person who is willing to be with you in times of your unwanted attitudes. From those statements above, a best friend is the one who is always with you through thick and thin. Who is your real best friend? Is he someone who leaves you in darkness? Is he someone who is with you because of your wealth? Is he someone who approaches you because he needs something from you? Think of those. Real best friend is not your shadow that leaves you when you’re in darkness. He is the moon that lights your way in the night. He is the arrow that points you to the right way.
He is the hand that guides you to righteousness. He is the umbrella that shields you against rain. Do you know who is he? He is your self. Your self is your real best friend. He is always there for you. He is the one who comforts you when you have problems. He is the one who always understands you. He is the one who really knows you. He is the one who cheers you up. He is the one who makes you strong. He is the one who shows you the true meaning of life. He is the one who deserves your love, your trust and your time. Treasure your self because he is the only one who won’t turn his back for you when the whole world closes its door.
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To prove that your self is your real best friend sounds hard because I need to research or to put real stories of people on the paper. However, I have or have not altered their names and some details to protect them and to make the person’s identities unrecognizable as what some authors have done. The most essential part of the stories is true. To be honest, I have found it difficult in choosing my topic for my first research paper in college. Perhaps, I Just don’t know what, who, when, where, why and how to write. For the challenge, I extend my heartfelt thanks to my professor, Sir J
Evangelists, in spite of the headache I got through the process. Without him, I won’t realize my real best friend. I hope that your way of teaching will continue to encourage more students and to show them the importance of learning. Self acceptance is being happy with who you are now. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment. For example, think of acceptance of yourself like being okay with your house right now. One day you might want a bigger house or you have this dream house in your mind, but there are advantages to your smaller home now.
So you can be happy with the house you have now and still dream of your bigger house as a reality later. Self acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were caught up in the struggle against reality. People have trouble accepting themselves because of a lack of motivation. Some have this misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true, you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like. Acceptance could be called the first step in change.
Everyone is different, unique or special. He has his own talents, skills or images based on God. The environment is like a Judge. It easily observes what is lacking in a person but not the things that he has. All it sees is the negative things not the positive ones. Its criticism brings a point that the person will be weakened. Every thing it says leaves a painful mark in the mind of a person. What he’ll soon think is to regret his own life. He’ll think to be Just somebody else. If that happens, everybody will like him. The people around him will praise him. Everyone is naturally Judge- mental.
Like a Judge or a Jury, he likes to figure out your mistake, your weakness and our lacking personality (Cohen, 1991). If you are ugly, people will continue to say that you are ugly. They will say worse thing against you or even hit you at your back. If you are not so smart, they will tease you and dislike you. If you are arrogant, people will leave you and you will have lesser friends. Everyone is not perfect. Not all is packed in each of us. What is present to one may not be present to someone. If you are perfect, you are the Lord or you are over Him (Whitman, 2002).
Have you ever tried to talk to someone who has personality opposite to you? Perhaps, he had told you about himself, about what he wants and about his expectations or he had even praised you for being the person he wished to be. Everyone feels those things. He wants to change side with other. If you think the same, you’re not Just the one because there are still more. My teacher in high school had once told us that Filipinos admire Americans because they are beautiful, but Americans admire Filipinos because they are beautiful. Both of them admire each other. It sounds funny but it’s true.
As what I said, not all will be given to a person. There must be a gap. To adjust from the situation depends on a person. It’s he who can carry himself to the place he fits in. Thinking about the missing in your life will just make you confused (Cohen, 1991). Each men and women is born special in the eyes of God, our Creator. Generally, everyone is blind to figure out how special he is. He feels something is missing in his life. Sometimes, questioning Him makes him disappointed or frustrated. Not all is given attractive appearance, retentive memory or any skills that can help him stand on his own.
These missing personalities make him regret his own life. These also steal his hope to win the battle of mankind (“Self-esteem” 3). Like the majority, I have also wished to be someone. I have imagined that I was Polloi Paschal. I thought that many girls will like me if I were him. If I had given a concert, I would have sung my fans songs that rob every lady heart. All of those were Just a dream. I had once thought to personally meet Drag. Vicky Bell and to ask her change me as a star (“Self- esteem” 3). When I was awoken, I saw myself like a fool. What I dreamt was a big foolishness.
God has given me my life and all He does was planned. He turns me to be a good person following His commands. The person I am is special like the person you are. Perhaps, we are different in many aspects, but those differences show what ally we are. For God, we are equal despite the things we may or may not see within ourselves (“Self-esteem” 3). If you accept yourself, you are accepting God. Everyone must be thankful for the gifts He has given no matter how painful the reality is. The beauty of the heart weighs greater than the temporary beauty of appearance.
God won’t give a problem to a person if that problem is hard to solve or can’t be solved. Life has a purpose to discover with Him. Just put Him on the center and He’ll serve as a guide toward righteousness (Cohen, 1991). Everyone was born for a reason. He is here to serve God with all his heart and with al his spirit. Having shame in ourselves walls us to do our purpose. Don’t feel that you’re a mistake because it lowers your courage. Just think that all the things happening to you now are not a mistake. Don’t even think that you’re making no sense although you have done everything to make others happy. Just believe on Him (Whitman, 2002).
Like Whitman, author of Be Your Own Best Friend, I made a good relationship to my friends in SIT College Sat. Rosa, Laguna when I began to accept who really I am. In high school, I used to be unapproachable because I was too smart. I was a constant achiever and the Valedictorian of my batch. I realized that I need to put God in my heart. According to Muhammad All, “It’s hard to be humble when you’re so great! “, yet it’s not like that because humility is hard to have when God is out your heart. Allowing God to reign in me makes me not so proud; instead, I am now open-hearted to listen to people because of Him (Whitman, 2002).
Lowering your pride doesn’t mean lowering your self-esteem. Achieving fame doesn’t mean degrading others to be successful. When we achieve honors or awards we must be thankful and never forget those people behind our success. Success is to measured through the number of medals or the number of people we beat, yet it is measured through the people we make happy and through our constant relationship with the Lord. The more we make good are the more we have friends that love us. By seeing our boundaries, we can learn to stop, to move, to go and continue our Journey.
By accepting ourselves, we can learn to accept a fix relationship with God, with friends and with others including our enemies (Cohen, 1991). Help means to furnish with strength or means for the successful performance of any action or the attainment of any object. It also means to aid, to assist or to help a man n his work. Another, it means to help one to remember. My sister and my classmate, ate Alma, were both alumnae of The Sisters of Mary School (SOME) in Cavity. Ate Aka has clearly narrated me her experience there. I could remember her story and I myself could say that it was really a heart-warming one.
Reading the A Heart for the Poor about the servant of God, Megs. Allusions Schwartz has revealed me a person who really dedicated his life for the Lord Father AAA was a real hero and he used his heart serving the poor. He loved the poor by giving them the opportunity to study and to experience the life with God. Here and in other countries, he built schools for Boston and girlhoods. He has served not Just the poor but also God (Rwanda, 2006). Father AAA was a model of a true hero. He has saved lives in the darkness, he has guided the spiritual growth of children.
With him, the blurred future of the poor has turned colorful. He was not rich but he has used his heart to share for those in need. Because of his acts, many individuals have risen out of poverty (Rwanda, 2006). Helping others even we’re not rich but with all of our hearts makes us come closer to God. We can help others through small deeds as long as we don’t step anybody. We must Just be true to ourselves, to Him, to our loved ones and to our enemies. Small or big things that we share to others are the same in the eyes of God as long as we remember to help.
By dedicating ourselves in service, the life of comfortless waits us above (Rwanda, 2006). When you turn yourself as your real best friend, don’t think that you put walls for others. You must learn to know who you are so that you’ll know others. Making yourself as your real best friend means accepting your strengths and weaknesses. Your self knows who you are, what you want, when to go, where to stop, why to live ND how to accept responsibilities, affirmation, criticism and realities. Sometimes we are deaf, we are mute, we are blind, we are paralyzed and we are unfair but we must learn to change.
Changing ourselves is Just correcting our unconsciousness Trust can be naturally attributed to relationships between people. It can be demonstrated that humans have a natural disposition to trust and to Judge trustworthiness that can be traced to the neurological trust on another person or entity, structure and activity of a human brain, and can be altered by the application of extinction. Conceptually, trust is also attributable to relationships within and between social groups (families, friends, communities, organizations, companies, nations etc. ).
It is a popular approach to frame the dynamics of inter-group and intra- group interactions in terms of trust. When it comes to the relationship between people and technology, the attribution of trust is a matter of dispute. The intentional stance demonstrates that trust can be validly attributed to human relationships with complex technologies. However, rational reflection leads to the rejection of an ability to trust technological artifacts. What lessens man’s courage to do things is the lack of trust. He often thinks that he can’t do one even without making a try and Just Jumping into a worse conclusion.
Self-trust calls for your trust to God. When you trust yourself, you believe that He will guide you, that He will protect you and that He will give you the strength you need. Trusting to your capacities makes you a better and stronger person. It is your password toward the horizon to meet the sun. It is the line that will connect you to the place of the Lord, to the place that everyone dreams and to the place that you don’t expect to go. Just keep on believing on yourself (Cohen, 1991). Jessica was Just 19 when she was abused by group of guys who were famous for being rich while she was only a middle class one.
She was raped by those men and was left alive. All she wanted was Justice. Hiring an attorney and fighting those high class people sounded hard. Her dedication and trust to herself made her strong. Her family and relatives were all supported her. Despite the lack of budget to pursue the case and despite the risk she would be facing, she never gave up. The hearing took long but she won the case at the end even though she had opposed famous ones Jessica story was Just like Nicole, victim of Cubic Rape Case, who also fought for her rights despite the similar reason.
If the two could fight those big enemies, we would also make our moves to surpass different kinds of hardship, big or small one. Fighting involves our self-trust. We are fighting because we believe we will win, we know we can make it and we feel God will guide us, God will protect us and God will show us what is right (Whitman, 2002). Ernest is my friend, maybe my closest friend. Last semester, we had our College Algebra I Just noticed that he was naturally good in Mathematics because he was also DOD in answering equations, but he was nervous in front of our classmates and in front of our teacher, Sir Florence.
I observed that his skills could lift his group, L. V. After our midterm, our teacher made a program entitled Young Mathematician Of the Year (YMMV). I talked to Ernest and asked him to Join. He Joined the said completion and I was really amazed because he was hailed the over-all champion. He defeated the different courses handled by Sir Florence. Like him, we can also be a winner as long as we have faith in ourselves (Cohen, 1991). I was really captured by Cone’s story about an “underdog Cincinnati Reds” who on over the reigning and weakening “World Champion Oakland As”.
Both the media and fans were predicting that the “1990 World Series” would be the soul-sleeping “championship”. On or before the actual showdown of the two teams it was announced by ‘radio” that “Charlie Hostler”, loyal Reds fan, had bet $ 50,000 on his admired team to spring as winner within the first four games straight. The risk against him was to win tripled amount through the bet or he will get $ 1. 5 million if his favorite team has four win straight. The first two battles were plucked by Reds in its home court. The second two fights were in the place of As.
Despite the nerve- wrecking fans of As and the fearing noise, Reds built edge and returned victorious while Hostler got rich (Cohen, 1991). From that story while almost everybody believes that Reds will be humbled easily by As Hostler stand that Reds will win. He made a metal belief not Just to his team but also in his self. Believing while everyone around you is contradicting requires a man of spirit. Sometimes, we feel that a thing is right but others say it is wrong. In ourselves, we can see the faith even we’re against all odds. Not all that majority lives is factual. Everyone is a human.
The truth lies on how strong we believe. Never say “l quit because they’re too many. I have no fight against them. ” That was wrong. Believing in ourselves can show us the courage to surpass every hindrance that clogs on the way. There’s hope as long as there’s faith (Cohen, 1991). Fear is a distressing emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger and flee from it or confront it, also known as the Fight or Flight response.
Some psychologists such as John B. Watson, Robert Plutarch, and Paul Seaman have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as Joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.
Worth noting is that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation or antiquation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening. In our lives, we’re filled with questions that talk about the fear we have for the future. We don’t know what store waits us miles away. We can’t see even a clue of what we’re going to be whether good or bad. We appear hopeless. We need answers to make us calm down, to make us satisfied and to make us happy. However, we get no response every time we ask.
There are no voices, there are no clues and there are no reactions. We are left unanswered, we are left blurred and we are left frustrated. We don’t know what step to take, we don’t know what place to go, we don’t know what place to go and we don’t know when to stop. We’re not heard or we Just don’t make ways to be heard (Cohen, 1991). Open your ears widen your eyes and let your other senses function. There’s hope. There’s light in darkness. There’s God. God is hope. He knows the answers to our problems. Jesus said, “Only people who don’t know God worry about future”.
Let Him drive our destiny and let Him stay in your heart. If you let Him, you won’t worry like that, you won’t frown so hard and you won’t keep on finding answers. He is the real answer. Never think it’s always the end of the world nor it’s non-sense to live; instead, think that He’s always willing to hear, He’s always ready to guide and He’s always here to support. The real hope is He (“Future Hope” 58). Problems brought about by our indifference and other factors have grown in our environment. Oftentimes, we miss many things because we close ourselves or we’re not willing to be a part.
We ignore the situation and allow it to become severe. We’re afraid and we continue to let things go wrong. We never take a move to settle down those problems until the impact comes bigger. We’ll Just move after we see that damage occurred. We have no strength, we have no will and we have no desires to help address the problems. We are wondering that things will be unsolved, that life will be unfair and that we may be victimized by our own foolishness. We are weakened. We are down. All we think is everything goes wrong, everything has no answer and everything is complicated (Cohen, 1991).
Fear is not an enemy. What we are afraid of tends to shallow ourselves. It’s like a data programmed on our mind that’s why we seem to shake when we are faced to it. Our mind says no because it knows that things will go wrong. We are expecting worse wing may happen next, we are feeling hurt will follow afterwards, we are hiding reality can go away and we are saying negative aura against our heart. The truth, it hurts us, occupies our body (Cohen, 1991). Imagine that you’re hunting a rooster that has grown free throughout his life.
Hunting him is hard because he runs anywhere he flies a distance and he hides in one place which is hard to find. He does those things because he feels afraid on the hunter. When he is caught, he still wants to get free away from the rope on his foot. He continues to run until he accepts the fact that he can’t. Being a prison becomes a part of his life. Observe that he never goes away like what he did before when you untie him after a few months. He can be easily caught from a distance (Cohen, 1991), The rooster runs, flies and hides when someone tries to get him because he’s afraid.
Like him, we also run and hide but not fly when we feel we are not secured. When we hide, we build walls to others. We miss our lives, we miss many opportunities, we miss experiences and we miss the real happiness because we don’t take a try, we isolate ourselves and we are shy to face our fear. We also run away from the problems packed in our environment until we are exhausted or tired. We moieties think to end our lives. See what Just happened to the APP Officer, Angelo Rexes recently. He committed suicide in front of the tomb of his mother because of the allegation or accusation against him about the military budget.
He was afraid to face his own problem and he left the case unsolved. What he did was a mortal sin because he had no right to claim his own life except God (Cohen, 1991). Last February, I was part of NEST tour to Blind. There I learned a lot. It was a great experience and a good memory to remember. I loved being there. My heart was hit by an inmate, Kayak Alex, when he started to narrate his story. It was true that he made a mistake but that transformed him to a person he is now. He was approachable and he answered all my questions thrown to him. His case was robbery and homicide.
He said they were five friends who did the said crime. He was already 33 yr. Old and he stayed there for 15 years to pay a 20-40 yr. Sentence. He changed when he met God (Cohen, 1991). What made me carried away was when he said that he admitted that he made a sin not Just in the eyes of the people around him but also in the eyes of the Lord and he was willing to pay for that with all his heart. I could not look directly at his eyes cause all I see was sorrow. I saluted him because he stayed strong despite that problem and he was not like Angelo who ran from his problems (Cohen, 1991).
Going back from the chicken, Kayak Alex looked like there was a rope on his foot. Of course from the start, he wanted to escape. He also tried to run until he Just accepted the fact that he couldn’t. The rope was the Jail. In Blind, inmates follow rules. He also does. In our talk, he never missed to give me pieces of advice like I must listen to my parents, I must choose my friends, I must know God and I must think first before I make a step (Cohen,1991). The main lesson that I got through our short conversation was everyone has a second chance but it doesn’t mean he must waste the first one.
When we sin, we have another chance to correct it, but it doesn’t mean we must do a sin to correct. It is better that we do what we think is right in our lives with the guidance of the Lord above and never try to make a sin intentionally (Cohen, 1991). Purpose is a result, end, mean, aim, or goal of an action intentionally undertaken, or of an object being brought into use or existence, whether or not the purpose was a primary or secondary effect. It is possible that an intentional act may have multiple reposes, only one of which is a primary intention while the remainders are secondary intentions.
For example, the introduction of a gene into a species of rice may have the primary intention of providing resistance to disease and a secondary intention of reducing nutritional value. The diminished nutritional value, though perhaps regrettable, would be a secondary intention in that it is a known effect willingly accepted. The world is equipped by challenges. These are according to God’s purpose. He has plan for every one of us. Perhaps, we are afraid for the future but let Him drive us. Never fear because. He is always there for us. Everything happening to you right now whether good or bad is a gift of Him.
When we let Him be the driver of our life, we accept Him whole-heartedly. With Him, we’ll know ourselves, we’ll have a peace of mind and we’ll receive an open heart (Whitman, 2002) A purpose of our life is still unanswered, still vague, still controversial and still hard to visualize. Only God knows that purpose. If you still don’t know what is your purpose now, it’s okay. However, one of our purposes in life is to have a relationship with Jesus, the son of God. Actually, we are challenged. Like us, Jesus was also Halloween when he lived with humans as one of them. Many temptations arose to him.
One of these was to turn his back to his father but that failed to happen until he breathed his last on the cross. Jesus is forever loyal to Him and we must do the same also as long as we have faith (“Preparing for His Purpose” 8). Temptation is everywhere. It will repeatedly test us. Life without it is boring. The best way to fight it is to be prepared. It won’t matter how many times we are tempted, but what counts is how many times we allow God to reign us against it. Angels and demons will continue to battle in influencing individuals. We have the choice and that depends to us. The choice is God’s test.
We have the right to choose whether to follow Him or to ignore Him. Judas and Jesus were both tested by Him. Judas failed his test when he sold Jesus for a little amount of money while Jesus never failed his test against the evil spirit because his faith to Him was strong (Cohen, 1991). Like them, we are tested. The test is to prove how strong we believe on Him. We are given options and it depends to us what to pick up. The Lord wants you find the right way. He wants you to pick up the right decision and to be with Him in heaven. On the other hand, Satan will try you to disobey Him.
He’ll do everything to invade your heart and to put there all the anger, all the hatred and all the fear in order to win you. Those are the reality happening to everyone right now. Satan becomes stronger in influencing people. God doesn’t want that. What he wants is for us to realize we are wrong and we need to be in line with righteousness. Remember that judgment comes nearer. Sooner, we are going to pay our foolishness, we are going to suffer because of our acts and we are going to have a hardship after death (Cohen, 1991). Peaceful life with Satan is temporary while the one with God is eternal.
Sometimes, we know we’re wrong but we continue to do wrong. God says stop but we don’t listen. When we are trapped to extreme situation, we begin to blame Him, we begin to question Him and we begin to Judge Him. Is it His fault? No, it’s our fault. We close our ears and we refuse to listen. He guides but we don’t follow, He teaches us but we are not willing to learn, He shows us the right way but we continue to pass on the other way and He calls us but we are deaf to response. It’s not yet the end. God is willing to forgive. He will continue to open His door but we need to knock at it with all our heart.
God is Just waiting you inside (Cohen, 1991). Your self is your real best friend but it doesn’t mean you erase God, you ignore your family and you refuse friends. When you turn yourself as your best friend, it’s the time when you an accept them. In your self, you need to build all the positive things so that there’s a balance. Everything begins in your self like acceptance, trust, sharing, awareness and forgiveness. It all starts with you. Live your life with love because it will serve as your visa to listen to others. Loving yourself will show you the sight way (Whitman, 2002).
Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, “God is love” or Agape in the Canonical gospels. Love may also be described as actions towards others based on compassion or as actions towards others based on affection. I Just noticed in myself that I feel happy when people are also happy. What makes me feel that are they. The people around me give me a kind of feeling either that or the opposite.
Maybe, you are experiencing the same also. That sounds like you love others more thank your self. Like l, you rather hurt yourself to make someone happy even deep inside you’re sad. That is also good but better if you will also make yourself happy first before others. Love yourself first before loving others. If you can love others, you can love yourself or vice versa. Loving yourself is loving others. You must take the balance. Love yourself so that you can give the right love for others and you won’t feel the guilt inside (Cohen, 1991). As I said, loving yourself doesn’t mean you’ll be self-centered.
You need to give eve to yourself so that you won’t feel that something is missing within you. If you don’t love yourself, who do you think will love you? That is a rhetorical question. The answer is close to you. Every one’s need is to love and be loved. If all is Just to love, is the one complete? Everyone needs to be loved aside from to love. One of the commandments of God is “Love your neighbors as much as you love yourself. ” It says that as much as you love yourself so you must give the same love you have in yourself to others. How come you can give more love to others if you have a little love in yourself?
Where’s the balance? Of course, the main point is to have an equal love to yourself and to others. That is what the commandment wants you to know In General, my research paper talks about you. It wants you to know your real best friend. In life, you are faced into different challenges and these make you a person who you are now. In these, God must always present so that you can make the right decision. You must learn to accept yourself, help others, trust or believe yourself, remove your fear, know your purpose and love yourself. To know more about your real best friend, go at a mirror and smile because you’ll see him smiling too.